Transformers: Robots In Disguise (As Stupid Crap)

I only get to see about one movie in a theater every 6 months, and I'm pretty bitter that I wasted my big chance on this one. Spoilers follow, but that shouldn't matter since you won't see this movie if you have any sense at all.

The only good thing about Transformers is the lead actor; he is pretty funny up until things get "serious". Unfortunately his love interest is a total ho - she dresses like a tramp, hangs out with the biggest dicks at school, and she looks like she's all oily from being groped by every dude with a nice car that drives by (who all have greasy hands for some reason... this made more sense in my head). But somehow it's her criminal record for stealing cars that almost ruins their perfect love.

Many classic Transformer names were awkwardly inserted into the dialog, only to have that robot never seen in the foreground again. Half the time you couldn't tell what was going on, who was fighting who, and certainly not why the robots (who's guns were completely incapable of destroying one another) were always doing somersaults between shots. Many of the scenes felt like there had been no plan for what the robots were going to be doing, and they were just added in as an afterthought. This was in stark contrast to the human military scenes which looked really good.

So the world is about to end, like, right now. And yet the Autobots act like children, screwing around, and basically saying things for no reason other than cheap laughs (and no, no one in the theater was laughing). And the lead character demands that his sleazy girlfriend's record be erased before he considers helping out with stopping all humans from being destroyed. And the military units don't bother to actually do their job - they just do whatever they want and assume that someone else will accomplish the only task that could save the planet. Go team!

It's pretty sad when giant transforming talking robots aren't the least realistic part of a movie.