Old Communist Jokes

David Frum is posting dozens of old jokes from the USSR; most of them are fairly undecipherable if you don't know the players involved, or simply don't translate well. Here are two exceptions:

A Frenchman, a Brit, and a Russian are admiring a painting of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden. The Frenchman says, "they must be French, they're naked and they're eating fruit." The Englishman says, "clearly they're English. Observe how politely the man is offering the woman the fruit." The Russian notes, "they are Russian of course. They have nothing to wear, nothing to eat, and they think they are in paradise."

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There was the Russian who bought a car and was told it would be delivered ten years from the purchase date. "Morning or afternoon?" he inquired. "What does it matter?" asked the salesman. "The plumber is coming in the morning."

I don't recall every hearing comparable jokes about the West... I think we spend more time picking on our leaders' personal foibles than the system we live in. Which is a nice luxury, frankly.

Sheryl Crow Is Crazy - Like A Fox!

It must be upsetting to find out that most people are willing to assume you are a lunatic when you post joke bizarro solutions to environmental problems.

I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required. When presenting this idea to my younger brother, whose judgment I trust implicitly, he proposed taking it one step further. I believe his quote was, "how bout just washing the one square out."

I have to admit that I wasn't sure either. I mean, rationing toilet paper makes more sense than Kyoto. But I refrained from jumping on the "Sheryl Crow is an idiot" bandwagon because I was sure it was going to turn out to be joke (hard to imagine a crazy person writing that well), and if not, well it's just tacky to mock the differently abled.